I was emailing with a friend a couple of days ago and we made plans to host a dinner party. Now, when I say dinner party, I don't mean a gathering of fancy people and a Martha Stewart type spread on the dinner table. Think something a bit more disorganized and throw in several small kids and you get the idea. It's fun, loud and usually something to look forward to. But this time, I have to admit to having some issues. I guess the "third-life" crisis hit me full in the gut.

Teresa and I were working things out and pretty much had the menu planned when we got to the issue of the guest list. A couple of years ago, the problem would have been keeping the party small and therefore paring down the guest list. But this time, the issue was coming up with people to invite! It was then that I had several thoughts hit me at once. First, the fact is that so many people have moved away. One by one (or two by two for the marrieds), friends got jobs or educations in other cities. Or, the transplants found it just too difficult to be away from family and went back to their hometowns to start their families. I think at the time I was sad, but it's events like a dinner party that really remind me just how big of a loss some of these people are.

My immediate thought after that was that I've really got to get out there and make some new friends. It's a bit like a breakup when you have good friends move away. You really don't want new ones, you want the old ones. It's especialy difficult when you think about cultivating a new friendship and the time involved in doing so is just friggin' overwhelming. The old friend knew everything and they were comfortable, like old shoes or second day jeans. The idea that you have to start out like you're dating is just too much.

"So, what do you do?" Geez, my OLD friends knew that. Plus, I'm a $#@!ing accountant. Why would anyone be interested in that?

"Where did you grow up?" What the hell, is she a %$#@ing cop? I grew up in a small town, yes I have an accent, no I am not from Tulsa originally. Yes, you probably knew that from the way I speak. I know, isn't it interesting how someone from Hugo can actually string a thought together? Hahaha. No, my parents don't own cattle nor have they ever. I wonder what my OLD friends are doing right now. I'm sure they aren't grilling unsuspecting Hugoans about their childhood (yeah, I have a bad attitude right now).

Anyway, you get the idea. Right now, I would really like to find a good group of old friends, a big table at my favorite restaurant, and spend the evening acting like, say, a 25 year old (I'm also feeling old. So, for those of you keeping score, that's depressed, friendless AND old.)