Sing it Merle...

Coming from a long line of country people who like to sit around philosophizing, I admit that I do my best thinking listening to either Jimmy Buffet or Merle Haggard  (a glass of scotch helps too).  Sometimes, I can even do a little ruminating with Pat Green, but as you can tell from my title, tonight my companion was Merle.  I downloaded his new album and on it was a great song called Learning to Live with Myself.  I guess it had really been a little too long since I spent some time just drifting in and out of my own head and maybe that's why this song really hit me just right.

Merle pointed out that "until he gives me my call, the hardest of all will be learning to live with myself".  I immediately identified with that statement because no matter how at ease I am with being me, I find at times that I can really get frustrated with some of my darker tendencies.  For instance, I really had to control myself at the grocery store over the holidays.  After the fifth old person had nearly run me down with her buggy trying to outrun me for the Ritz crackers, I really did have to call on the Good Lord to give me strength.  Seriously, pregnant or not, I was crazed.  Then, as I mentioned in the last post, there is just no way I can be patient with the nosy cashier people at the mall.  On top of all of that, I am getting crankier by the minute and should be really cantankerous by the time I'm, oh, say 40.  

But, being serious, I wonder how in the future I will like myself.  I'm sure that there will be regrets and mistakes that I will acquire and I can't help but think that it might be difficult to carry that around.  While I'm generally an easy going person, there is always that other voice that likes nothing better than to point out all my shortcomings and missed opportunities.  Of course, the flip side of that is that I will also acquire wisdom and some really great things will happen.  So maybe the good and bad even out.  It's hard to say at this point.  But, while I haven't totally learned to live peacefully with myself, I have learned that there isn't much that I know for certain.  So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.  When I figure it out, I'll let you know.  Don't wait up...